


Sugar I'm Going Down Without You

by TiffanyBlews



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 02:38:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4504482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiffanyBlews/pseuds/TiffanyBlews
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick doesn't think that anything good can possibly come out of getting diagnosed with cancer, but then he meets Pete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Patrick took a sip of his water bottle as he nervously drummed his fingers on the edge of his chair. He was currently sitting in the waiting room at Mercy Hospital and Medical Center in Chicago, anxiously awaiting his turn to go in and see the doctor.

He couldn’t say that he was necessarily looking forward to this particular visit, not that he really looked forward to any hospital visits, but this one was exceptionally nerve-wracking. This specific trip to the hospital would tell Patrick whether or not the illness he had been going through recently was just a cold, or something much worse.

It had all started about three weeks ago when Patrick began experiencing some strange symptoms. Of course there had been earlier signs that he had originally attributed to everyday issues. After all, there had been no reason for him to think he was dying just because he was a little bit more tired or because he felt slightly feverish. It was when stranger things started to happen to him that he thought maybe he should do a little bit or research. 

Maybe WebMD hadn’t been the best place to do research considering it was known for turning common symptoms into warning signs for fatal illnesses. This was, after all, the same website had once convinced him that he had gastritis when, in reality, all he had was a really bad case of food poisoning. Regardless of the fact that WebMD was probably going to make everything seem far more severe than it really was, Patrick thought it couldn’t hurt to look up his symptoms anyway. 

It turned out that his exhaustion and fever were normal symptoms by themselves, however, when they were paired with his constant nose bleeds and the spattering of tiny red spots across his skin, they were no longer quite as normal. Instead, they could actually be the early signs of something much worse than the cold he originally thought he had.

So, now here he was, sitting in a hospital waiting room with a bunch of other people who all appeared to be just as healthy as Patrick did. However, they were all here right now because they were sick, or at least they thought they were. Maybe they had something just as bad as what Patrick feared he had, maybe they had something worse.

Patrick sighed and examined the room in an attempt to distract himself from the fear currently pulsing through his body. The walls were painted a pale blue and the floors were a blinding shade of white. The chairs that lined the walls were a disgusting shade of yellow and were just as uncomfortable as they looked. Several small, wooden end tables were scattered around the room and on top of each one was a stack of magazines that were all at least a month old. The room was brightly lit and smelled so strongly of antiseptic that Patrick couldn’t help but scrunch up his nose. Overall, it was just a normal waiting room. However, that fact did absolutely nothing to assuage the terror that was slowly eating away at the inside of Patrick’s stomach.

He shifted slightly in his seat and tried to focus on anything other than the possibility that he might be dying. He turned his attention to the people that were waiting in the room with him. There was a cute old couple two seats to his left, they were holding hands and smiling warmly at each other. They were both white haired with wrinkles covering their skin and while bring old had never interested him before, Patrick silently wondered whether or not he would get the chance to live that long.

Across from him was a mother who looked like she hadn’t slept in a week, and her three young children, two boys and a girl. Neither boy looked like he could be older than five and the girl as definitely no older than six months. The disheveled looking mother was quietly scolding her youngest boy for hitting his older brother. Once she finished reprimanding the child, she made him apologize to his brother. Looking defeated he grumpily sat in the chair on the other side of his mother and refused to talk to her anymore. As he watched the family, Patrick couldn’t help but question whether or not he would ever get to be a father. It was something he had always wanted, yet never given much thought to. Now he couldn’t help but think that maybe he wouldn’t live long enough to see that dream become a reality.

Patrick pushed those dark thoughts out of his mind and turned his attention to the young blonde nurse sitting at the desk that was quickly typing on her computer. She looked like she was bored with whatever she was currently working on, but she seemed happy to be there all the same. It was easy to see that she truly loved what she did for a living, something Patrick couldn’t relate to. He didn’t know what it was like to feel anything other than animosity towards his job. He desperately hoped that he would someday get the chance to have a career where he got to do something he loved, even if he did not yet know what that was.

Patrick was so engrossed in his thoughts that he almost didn’t notice when a second nurse came out of the door to call up the next patient. His gut wrenched as she opened her mouth to speak and he waited to hear his name, instead he heard, "Sarah Held?" 

The exhausted mother stood and began to gather up her children so that they could all follow her to front of the room where the door stood open by the desk. The nurse led the woman and her three kids through the doorway and once they had gone, Patrick did his best to calm his nerves.

He knew that in just a few short minutes it would be him walking through that door. Even though he knew that he was inevitably going to find out what was wrong with him, he wanted to delay that moment for as long as possible. Maybe it was stupid, but Patrick wanted to have just a few more moments to enjoy his life before everything changed. 

Of course, he wouldn’t necessarily say enjoying life was exactly what he was doing at the moment, but at least he could still pretend that everything was normal. However, once the doctor validated fears, there would be no more pretending. Patrick’s entire life would become different in more ways than one, and he would no longer be able to pretend that he wasn’t sick.

If he was truly sick he would probably have to go through some kind of treatment. Patrick had done some research and he knew that certain types of treatment required patients to stay in the hospital for months at a time. Patrick wasn’t sure that he was mentally prepared to live in a hospital for a month, actually, he wasn’t even sure he could last more than a week in a place as depressing at this. 

“Patrick Stump?”

Hearing his name, Patrick looked up and all of his previous thoughts vanished as he saw the open door and the nurse standing there with a confused look on her face. Patrick tried to respond, to let the nurse know that he was there, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t make himself say anything. 

Looking even more perplexed than before, the nurse glanced back down at her clipboard to make sure she had gotten the name right. After a moment she looked up, “Is there a Patrick Stump here?”

Patrick stood on shaky legs and managed to force out a quiet, “Yeah, that’s me.”

The nurse smiled at him and waved her hand to indicate that he should follow her through the door. Patrick took a deep breath and walked over to follow her. This was it, once he walked through the doorway and talked to the doctor his life would probably never be the same again. Even though he wasn’t sure he was ready to face what he feared was about to come next, he knew that he had to be brave and do it anyway. Patrick nervously bit his lip, readjusted his favorite fedora, and took his final step out of the waiting room and into his new life as he closed the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm sorry I took so long to update this but I just started college a few months ago so I've been super busy. I'll try to update a little bit faster in the future.

It had been three weeks since Patrick’s doctor’s appointment. A few days after that first trip to the doctor, he had gone to see an oncologist and together they even decided on a treatment plan, but the fact that he had been diagnosed with cancer still hadn’t sunk in. Not even the fact that he was supposed to start his first round of treatment tomorrow afternoon could make it seem real.

Regardless of the fact that he wasn’t entirely convinced he had cancer, he still had to check into the hospital tomorrow. His oncologist had explained to him that during his first round of treatment he would be given chemotherapy through a port that would be inserted into the veins on his neck. His oncologist had also told him that he was required to stay in the hospital for an entire month during his treatment so that he wouldn’t be at risk for infections. 

Those two reasons alone were enough to make him not want to do the treatment, however, it wasn’t like he really had a choice considering the circumstances. Even though Patrick was terrified of the port, the hospital, and even losing his hair, he was far more terrified of dying at the age of 22, which was something that would definitely happen if he refused to go through treatment.

For that reason, not getting treated wasn’t an option right now, which meant Patrick was currently packing his bags so that he could start his month long stay at the hospital tomorrow. He already had two suitcases and a duffel bag—maybe he had overpacked—but he would rather be safe than sorry in this situation. After all, it wasn’t really like he could just go home and get something if he forgot it.

Once Patrick had finally finished all of his packing, he turned off his light and crawled into bed to try and sleep. However, thoughts of the upcoming month kept invading his mind and it was only after several hours of tossing and turning that Patrick was finally able to fall into a restless slumber.

***

When Patrick awoke the the next morning, he felt as though he had only managed to squeeze in five minutes of sleep. Of course, he was going to be getting plenty of time to sleep while he was in the hospital so he wasn’t really concerned about the fact that he felt like a zombie. 

Once he had showered and changed, Patrick grabbed his bags, and took one last look at his apartment before closing the door that would stay locked for an entire month. It still hadn’t clicked that he wasn’t going to be back here for another month and he briefly thought about going back inside to dump out the milk in his refrigerator, but resisted the urge considering the fact that he was already running late. The fact that he might never see his apartment again after today entered his mind as he stepped away from his door, but he quickly pushed that thought out of his head and continued the walk to his car

***

It was 8:43 by the time Patrick was finally checked in and was allowed to take up residence in his room. He didn’t have to share with anyone, which was kind of nice, but the room was slightly too small and it just felt unwelcoming. The whole room was too white: white walls, white floors, white bed, scratchy white sheets, and even a white blanket. The only color in the room came from the two landscapes placed carelessly on the wall above the bed.

The room itself only made Patrick more nervous about his first round of chemotherapy that afternoon. He wasn’t sure exactly what he should expect, and he had absolutely no idea how the treatment itself would affect him. He had read a lot of first hand cancer treatment stories online and each person that had gone through chemotherapy had a different list of side effects. Of course, Patrick expected his hair to fall out, and he expected to be nauseous, but other than that, he really had no idea. 

Patrick decided that sitting in his room while thinking about all of the bad things that could happen to him was not a good way to spend his free time. Instead, he decided that maybe it might be beneficial to look around a little bit so that he could get to know the place he would be staying for the next month.

Patrick stepped out of his room and into the hallway. The hallway itself was even more dull than his room, and it made him wonder if there was even a point in looking around. The entire hallway probably looked the same, which meant that there would be nothing interesting for him to see. However, the thought of going back to his room made him feel claustrophobic and anxious. Patrick hadn’t even been living here for more than a few hours and he already felt trapped and lonely.

Moving down the hallway, Patrick just saw a lot of closed doors and empty rooms. A nurse walked past him and disappeared into one of the doors ahead of him. As he continued to walk, he didn’t see anything new or interesting, and even though he had expected that, it still sucked. By the time he reached the end of the hallway, Patrick couldn’t help but be disappointed. He had been hoping to see someone—anyone—that could relate to him, but the only person he had seen was the nurse.

Feeling even more lonely and trapped than he had in his room, Patrick leaned against a closed door, creating a light thudding noise, and let himself slide down to a sitting position on the floor. Even though he knew he had to be here, he would rather be anywhere else in the world right now. He felt scared and alone and trapped and all he wanted to do was go home, pretend he was fine, and never worry about cancer again.

Suddenly the door behind Patrick was yanked open and Patrick, ripped from his depressing thoughts, fell backwards onto the floor, hitting his head on the cold, white linoleum. 

“Who the hell are you, and why the fuck are you sitting outside my door?”

Patrick looked up into the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. They were the color of honey and they belonged to the very pissed-off face of a man with dark hair, tan skin, and a lot of tattoos. For a moment all Patrick could do was stare, he had absolutely never seen anyone this attractive in his entire life, actually, he couldn’t even remember ever seeing anyone that looked nearly as good as this man did.

After a few seconds the man sighed angrily and repeated himself, “I said, who the hell are you and why the fuck are you sitting outside my door?” 

Patrick took a moment to try and regain his composure before he responded, “Sorry, I-I didn’t realize someone was in here. I just needed to sit down and-” Patrick registered the fact the the man was started to look more pissed off with each word he said, “Sorry, I’ll, um, I’ll just go. I didn’t mean to bother you or anything.”

Patrick attempted to get up so he could leave, but he quickly realized that the cancer was taking more of a toll than he had previously realized because he was too weak to stand on his own. The man sighed and held out his hand to help Patrick up and he accepted graciously. Once he standing he looked at his feet and mumbled a quiet “thank you” before taking a few steps down the hallway to head back to his room.

After he had managed get about three feet away from the open door, he heard the man calling after him.

“Hey! Wait!” Patrick turned around and looked at the man; he didn’t look angry anymore, he actually looked a little embarrassed. “You don’t have to leave—I just assumed you were a doctor or a nurse or something, and I’m really not in the mood to see any of them right now.”

Patrick just stared at him in disbelief for a moment. This man had gone from furious to calm in the time it took Patrick to walk a few feet away from the door, and he wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about that. It seemed a little bit bipolar to him. However, he began to make his way back towards the man regardless of his apprehension. 

The man held out his hand again, except this time it wasn’t to help Patrick up, it was for a handshake, “I’m Pete, sorry we got off to a rough start.” Patrick shook the man’s hand, but he still wasn’t sure what to make of this situation so he remained silent. Thankfully, the man, Pete, continued talking so Patrick didn’t really have to worry about thinking of something to say, “I’m sorry I was kind of harsh before. I just started treatment last week so I’ve been really tired, but I have trouble sleeping, and you just happened to hit my door right as I was starting to finally pass out.”

Patrick continued to just look at Pete for a few seconds before realizing that they were still shaking hands. Patrick quickly let go and finally spoke, “Sorry, um, I’m Patrick. It’s nice to meet you.”

Pete smiled and Patrick couldn’t help but think once again how beautiful this guy was. “It’s nice to meet you too Patrick, even if you did interrupt my attempt at taking a nap.” Patrick instantly felt horrible about waking Pete up. He knew what it was like to desperately need sleep and not be able to get it. However, Pete began to laugh, and that made Patrick feel slightly less guilty. Even if Pete was laughing at the fact that Patrick felt bad about waking him up, Patrick still couldn’t help but notice how perfect Pete’s laugh was. It wasn’t actually that his laugh was all that great, but it was more the fact that when he laughed, his entire face lit up and he instantly looked like that happiest person in the world. That was a look that Patrick could get used to seeing.

“Well, Patrick,” Pete said, “I’m gonna say that it’s safe to assume you’re in here because you have cancer, so what type do you have?”

Patrick’s face paled at the mention of his condition. Maybe it was ridiculous considering he was standing in the hallway of the hospital, but he had forgotten about his cancer while he had been talking to Pete, and remembering it really sucked. Patrick swallowed and tried to make himself sound calm when he answered, but he really just came across as sounding like he was trying to hold back tears, “I have acute lymphocytic leukemia.” It was strange to talk about his cancer out loud, and saying the name felt foreign on his tongue. The conversation was becoming less and less fun by the second, and Patrick wished he could just leave without seeming rude.

“Yeah I’m in here for the exact same thing,” Pete was suddenly serious as he nodded, “so, if you ever want to talk about cancer shit, I’m here for you.” Patrick was about to respond when Pete quickly added on, “Or if you ever just want to hang out and pretend that we don’t have cancer, that would be cool too.”

Patrick gave Pete a small smile, hoping that it conveyed how grateful he was to finally have someone that actually understood what he was going through. “Yeah, that would be cool.”

Pete smiled back at him. “Okay, well, I have treatment in a few hours so I’m going to try, and probably fail, to take a nap before that,” Patrick nodded and started back down the hallway when he heard Pete say something else, “You should stop back here around the same time tomorrow. I promise I won’t yell at you again, at least not for waking me up.”

“Okay,” Patrick laughed at Pete’s attempt at a joke. He turned back around and finally began heading back to his room. Even though he hated having cancer, and he hated being in this stupid hospital, he was starting to think that maybe having a friend like Pete would make this whole situation just a tiny bit easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I don't really know anything about cancer, which means that everything in this fic is just stuff I've learned from the research I've done. If anything isn't accurate I'm really sorry, and please comment so I can fix it. Also, if you want to leave any other comments just telling me what you think that would be awesome and I would really appreciate it!


End file.
